呢段日子以來, 身心都處於繃緊狀態, 照顧波波最後階段時真係好攰, 精神同體力都消耗極大; 到佢離開, 一切静止, 但休息唔到, 即使全身肌肉酸痛精神萎靡, 但每晚都失眠或者祇瞓得好短嘅時間!
空出好多時間, 不停搵嘢做, 搵波波相片做視頻, 做手工, 每分每秒嘅時間都要被occupied!
當日為小豬豆骨灰做咗新屋, 波波當然無例如, 將心中所想每個字句帶住愛親手移印到木箱, 波波嘅骨灰就安放喺溫暧嘅木盒內, 希望波波感覺幸福, 因為呢個木盒包圍住媽媽滿滿嘅愛!
呢兩日睇過一篇文章, 講述狗狗嘅離開, 原來會有兩個好極端嘅反應, 對應咗波波同豆豆嘅選擇!
"In their final hours, dogs usually follow one of two paths. They become extremely needy and desperate to be close to loved ones… or they withdraw and hide away.
Often, it’s a look of sadness in the dog’s eyes or an unusual
persistence and desperation in the dog’s attempts at closeness. The dog may wake his human up to cuddle in the middle of the night despite never having done so before.
Conversely,
other dogs seem to want nothing to do with their owners at the very
ends of their lives.These dogs prefer to die hidden and alone, whether
for their own comfort or for that of their loved ones.
They may retreat to a dark, quiet corner of the house, lie down and never get up again."
當日豆b瀰留時非常安靜, 從昏睡到離開無發出任何叫聲, 一整晚背住我瞓覺好安靜, 只係佢堅持唔想我睇住佢走, 到我一行開去洗手間剎那就呼吸驟停; 而波波明顯唔捨得我走開, 喺最後階段仍比我要抱抱嘅訉息, 好平靜待喺我懷內足有一個鐘, 就示意返入氧氣箱要安靜!
不過波波一整晚有數次叫聲, 叫媽媽唔好行開, 係好溫柔低聲提醒; 雖然佢背住我瞓, 但我有一直留意住佢動靜, 眼一直盯住手放喺佢身上, 感受住佢肚仔起伏嘅氣息, 一直到氣息漸弱至停....
整個離開嘅過程都喺我眼底下, 好感恩波波離開時無任何掙扎或呼吸急促情形, 只係慢慢、慢慢呼吸變弱, 然後停!
多謝乖仔完我夢, 乖乖咁離開於睡夢中, 減輕咗媽媽嘅傷痛; 佢真係好乖好貼心, 到最後一刻都照顧到媽媽情緒, 希望媽媽無遺憾, 因為見到佢安靜咁走完最後一程!
